Take Me Back

Sometimes I entertain my mind for a moment. I dream of days my eyebrows were thinned, skin tanned and smile brightened. Nights when I would give away sleep at the possibility of hanging out with a crush. Days when I wanted just what I have now. I wanted a love that holds me close when I need it. Little versions of me and my love running around, wreaking havoc while I just smile to myself. This is what it all about. I have been looking back over the past hour wondering where it went, but knowing that it was needed.

We sang tonight. My family and 4 of the 6 missionaries in our ward. 2 are leaving and going on to serve in other places.  I miss Jason's calling. I want to serve a mission so bad. What a wonderful thing it is to get to know someone while at such an exciting time of their life. Am I so old that I am even stating the last sentence. I blurted out tonight at dinner that I would be thirty this year??!!! Wow!

I want to remember today. I want to remember trying so hard to be patient with boys who just wanted to play. We all just wanted to play. Standing over them to force one room clean if it took every last breath. Rocking sweet Gordon to sleep after his third tooth busted through his little gums. Find him woken from his nap full of love and adoration in his eyes and kisses for momma.